Clandestine Cake Club - January

Last night the glamorous world of film came to Newcastle's Clandestine Cake Club with the theme "Inspired by the Silver Screen".

The red carpet tablecloth played host to some of the world's most beautiful cakes from Chocolate Cake, head to toe in ganache by Chanel; Blue Velvet, sporting two robins by Valentino, like that time Bjork wore a dress made from a swan; Strawberry Daiquiri, barely covering herself in an exquisite array of fruit by Versace, and Swedish Princess Cake, draped in green marzipan by Primark.


I'd chosen to represent the film "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". I'd enjoyed reading the trilogy and pictured the Swedish hero Blomkvist - blond, blue-eyed, 40, irresistible to women - as Daniel Craig. Imagine my joy when he was cast in the English language remake of the Swedish films! I don't remember much mention of cake in Stieg Larsson's books, but they make a coffee on every other page and at one point there is an unflinching mention of a cheese & marmalade sandwich. You'd need a slice of cake to wash that down. I chose to make a traditional Swedish prinsesstårta and followed the instructions on this great blog by an American lady living in Sweden. The cake is layers of genoise sponge and vanilla custard, topped with a dome of whipped cream and covered with green marzipan. It is traditionally decorated with a little pink rose.

I ate as much cake as I could but disappointingly got stage fright and hit the wall after only five slices. I loved the pistachio & rosewater and mango & cardamom cakes - one of the great things about Clandestine Cake Club is that you get to try all sorts of different recipes and flavours.


Naturally for a glamorous night of film we had press coverage and were joined by the lovely Jonathan Miles from BBC Newcastle who tried to interview us while we stuffed our faces with cake. Thanks to the Knit Studio for hosting CCC again and for the exclusive after-show party with wine, Doritos and drug-fuelled celebrity orgies (heh, I made that bit up. There were no Doritos). Huge thanks as ever to Lisa for organising it. I'd also like to thank my mom, my dad, my wife, my brother, my dog, my neighbour's dog, a dog I once saw a cute picture of on the internet and now I'd like to do some sobbing.


If you'd like to join Cake Club and get your crumb-covered face in next month's Heat magazine (probably in the circle of shame) visit the website for details and come for an audition. You might need a little lie down on the director's casting couch after you've eaten all that cake.

Clandestine Cake Club - September

Last night I took my friend Kate to the Newcastle Clandestine Cake Club. I explained the idea: a dozen different cakes to eat at a private venue. No charge, just friendly people, a cup of tea and the chance to take home any leftovers.


Naturally she was reluctant, but once I added that all the cakes would contain at least "One of Your Five a Day", she accepted the invitation faster than she can spot a stray apostrophe. (We once passed a cookie shop displaying a massive biscuit that said SORRY YOUR LEAVING. We winced simultaneously).


There were eleven cakes, eight of which contained fruit.

Clockwise from top left: amaretto cherry bakewell cake; lemon cake with cream; raspberry and white chocolate cake; hummingbird cake; polenta and orange cake; spicy pear cake; apple and cheese cake; toffee apple cake 

Three cakes contained vegetables.

Clockwise from top left: carrot cake; parsnip, ginger and lime cake; a nice teacup; chocolate and beetroot cake

I had seen the recipe for spicy pear cake on the CCC website here and was keen to give it a try. I liked the autumnal taste of pear, cinnamon and nutmeg and I love cinnamon cream cheese frosting. Certainly nobody could claim it wasn't fresh: Cake Club starts at 6pm and the cake had gone in the oven at 5pm. The cake and I arrived slightly late and slightly warm.


Keen as ever to get as many of my five-a-day through the medium of cake, I also tried the parsnip, lime and ginger cake which was moist and zingy, as was the lemon cake with cream. I've always wanted to try a beetroot chocolate cake but have been put off by the grating of the beetroot, but now I've eaten one so dark and rich I will definitely try marrying baking one. I love bakewell tart (in my view, a senior member in the cake royal family) and the amaretto cherry bakewell was spot on. I faffed a bit when the leftovers were being portioned up so I only managed to get my paws on two slices: the polenta and orange cake, which I am eating as I type - I love the slightly gritty texture of the polenta; and a slice of hummingbird cake, which is pineapple and banana cake and is for later.


Kate did not faff when it came to leftovers as she needed to take some home for Marc, claiming that he is practically skin and bones. Perhaps he will now forgive me for using him as the model for a murder victim on Kate's birthday cake.


The venue for the evening was The Knit Studio, which is tucked away in the cloister of the 13th century Blackfriars Priory in the centre of Newcastle.

The Knit Studio offers beautiful yarns, patterns, books, knitted goods, quilts and fabrics. There is a large craft table, copious amounts of tea and coffee, and a very knowledgeable and friendly owner. It made me want to relearn knitting and finish that dolly's scarf I started 30 years ago. The studio also runs events and workshops in knitting, sewing, crochet and spinning. Not the hideous kind of spinning where you get hot and sweaty on an exercise bike, but real spinning. 

The "husband sofa" for the safe deposit of men. 

I feel much the same way about him myself, pet *dreamy face*

Thanks to The Knit Studio for being such great cake club hosts and thanks as always to Lisa for organising it so well. Once again this event was fully booked, so if you would like to eat a huge amount of cake in a non-judgemental environment, visit the website for details of the October club.