High time for high tea

Today we went for a walk at Ulverston, a place name I have been singing all week to Glen Campbell's "Galveston". I have been hankering after a high tea and investigated options at tip top hotels ranging in price from £35 to £49. I was aware, however, that Fitz's lack of appreciation would not justify the price, as he has a woeful understanding of cake. It would be like someone giving me a rare and expensive champagne to taste, me saying "yeah, that's quite nice", and that someone wanting to punch me in the face.

Sue, our lovely neighbour at Coat Yeat Cottages who has taught us this week about all sorts from adders, swallows and natterjack toads to the best place to spot glow-worms, had recommended Gillam's in Ulverston, a vegetarian tearoom. For £6.95, they serve a lovely cream tea of cucumber sandwiches, homemade scone with jam and cream, a slice of carrot cake and a slice of coffee cake. We sat in Gillam's pretty garden, which boasts a view of a warm kitty and a white bell-tower that rings every quarter hour.

I quickly calculated that by choosing Gillam's for my cream tea, I had saved upwards of £28 in a week when I had spent nothing at all on what Fitz calls "shit you don't need", straining like a  dog on a leash at shop windows full of pale blue teapots and  cat ornaments. But I play by Han's holiday rule of spending at least £20 on crap and that putative twenty pound note was burning a hole in my pocket. Luckily, the tearoom also sold ladytreats and I went into speed shopping mode (I shop so quickly that even my dad, who loathes shopping, said I was a pleasure to accompany on a weekly supermarket trip. Something to do with never checking best before dates). As well as liquorice wheels, Kendal mint cake and fudge to thank my parents for feeding my cats, I got this jug decorated with apples

and a bar of violet infused milk chocolate, which is delicious.

I felt we'd earned our high tea as we'd done a five mile walk along Ulverston's canal which once upon a time brought in goods from exotic places and is now a reed-lined waterway that passes, er, a GlaxoSmithKline chemical factory. So picturesque. It's got a swan and everything.

I have to admit that we started the walk with a visit to the best chip shop in Ulverston for a cone. Fitz was so hungry that he raced through his and, as I was halfway through mine, started asking "do you want the rest of yours?" I did, but I got the hint. Greater love hath no woman than to part with her chips. Especially if she's a Geordie.